The Best Of The 4th Of July Weekend’s World Records

Yesterday, my Uproxxian colleague, DangerGuerrero, brought us the results of the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Championship, but today the news is about controversy. As you can see in the video below, American hero Joey Chestnut won the official competition by housing 62 dogs in 10 minutes. Alas, as is always the story with Major League Eating, there is a great deal of controversy. Former champion and current MLE outcast Takeru Kobayashi was unable to compete head-to-head with Chestnut because he has been banned from MLE events for refusing to sign an exclusive contract. So instead of sitting in exile and eating food like a normal person, Kobayashi held his own Nathan’s Hot Dog satellite event from a rooftop in Manhattan. According to Kobayashi and his video evidence, he not only beat Chestnut’s 62 dogs, but he broke the world record by eating 69 weiners in 10 minutes. Better luck next year, your sister.

After the jump, you can check out Kobayashi’s “record-breaking” performance, as well as a few of the weekend’s more intriguing world record attempts from around, well, the world, I guess.

As you can see, Kobayashi’s evidence is pretty solid and it sure looks like he did work on those weiners. But MLE President George Shea still disagrees with Kobayashi’s claims.

“The champion of the world is crowned in Coney Island. Always has been, always will be,” said Shea. “[Kobayashi] put a tin crown on his head and called himself king.”

Kobayashi is standing his ground and maintaining his desire to not only compete for the Nathan’s title officially, but also in any of the various eating competitions around the world that he feels like attending.

“I am so happy I got this chance,” Kobayshi told a packed house at the rooftop garden bar at 230 Fifth, slamming both fists on the table triumphantly, and thanking club owner Steven Greenberg for making the event happen. (Via AOL)

Some may say that Chestnut was the real American in this competition, but I think Kobayashi showed us the true meaning of the 4th of July this weekend. *armpit farts Lee Greenwood’s greatest hits*
Meanwhile in Davie, FL, Robert Souris set out to break the world record for the longest front flip, a record that he once held but was broken last year. And of course Souris handled his record-breaking attempt in the most revenge-suited style imaginable – he dressed up as a comic book hero.

Souris, 28, did the jump in a blue costume bearing the words Zero G, as in Zero Gravity man, the name of a comic book character he created at age 11.
“Zero G defies gravity and that’s what I try to do,” said Souris, who set the record last year with a jump of 16 feet. But a Texan beat it by jumping 19 feet, 2 inches.
After making the winning jump, Souris did four back flips to celebrate.
“I am exhausted,” said Souris, who said he planned a different kind of celebration once he gets home: “A shower and a couch.” (Orlando Sentinel)

Yeah, I used to call my futon a couch, too.
More than 1,000 residents of Greensboro, NC showed up to help break the record for the most people playing the same snare drum beat at the same time. The gathering was huge – estimated at 1,009 people, to be precise – and was a star-studded affair, featuring a guy from that band that performed that song that your parents may know.

When asked why they felt the need to participate [Melvin] Turner said, “I’ve been in Greensboro for four years, this community has been very good to me and it’s been good to The Chairmen of The Board so this is my opportunity to give back.” (Via WMFY News 2)

I know, complete mystery to me, too. But all that matters is that these people broke the world record that they set out to crush and wouldn’t you know it? They didn’t. Nope, not even close. The world record still belongs to Germany, which featured 1,682 people. But the Greensboro effort was good enough for a national record, so that counts for something. And they also probably set the record for the most hungover people shouting, “Stop playing those f*cking drums!”
Thirty-five year old skater Taig Khris not only broke the world record for longest rollerblade jump yesterday, but he immediately gave it another run and broke his own record for poops and giggles. Khris used a 150-meter ramp to jump 28.4 meters on his first run in front of Paris’ Sacre Coeur Basilica, and then as the crowd cheered him on, he hopped back on the ramp and gave it another run, this time for 29 meters. Khris closed out his record-breaking performance with one more run, as he pulled off a front flip much to the delight of the huge audience. You could almost say they surrendered to his awesomeness. *high fives grandfather*
(The Sun)
The crew of Juicy’s LLC, a nationally famous food truck and home of the “Outlaw Burger”, hit the Alameda County Fair in California on Saturday, as they once again attempted to break the world record for the largest hamburger ever cooked. Juicy’s had previously attempted to break the record in Texas, but they fell short with only a 500-pound burger. But thank goodness they came back stronger than ever this time, because the record was being held by… Canadians. Those hosers can boast no more, though, as their 590-pound record burger was slaughtered by Juicy’s 777-pound effort this weekend. U-S-A?

One requirement is that the burger had to be eaten by the public afterward — and it was. Hundreds lined up to get a taste of history for 99 cents a bite. Many had skipped dinner in favor of the world’s most awesome burger ever. By the time it was served up at 9 p.m., stomachs were growling. (Via Newark Patch)

U-S-A! U-S-A!
As for their inspiration:

“This is a world-record attempt — people just don’t do that kind of thing very often,” said Juicy’s owner Brett Enright.
“This world has how many billions of people in it? Everything’s been done.”

Wait, so people don’t try to break world records very often but everything has been done? Trust me, I’m fascinated by obscure world records. People do this crap all the time. And in this case the fine people of Alameda County can also soon boast about having the world’s highest cholesterol.
In the meantime, check out Juicy’s burger-making skills…