07.02.08 10 years ago 26 Comments

As noted by Shutdown Corner, the Kansas City Chiefs have a "Fan Code of Conduct" for home games, and rule #2 shows why Arrowhead is one of the most unforgiving environments for opposing teams.  On the list of verboten acts:

• Standing and/or obstructing the view of other fans

Yes, standing.  Now, this seems like the sort of thing that would correct itself: any person who goes to an NFL game and says "Sit down! You're ruining the game!" would justifiably be laughed off by everyone else in the section.  But no, there's a special program for cowardly douchebag whistleblowers:

The Chiefs also have set up a text-messaging system that allows fans who might be offended by behaviors like standing to report the situation to the powers-that-be.

I don't like to advocate violence more than seven or eight times a day, but I'm going to make an exception for this.  If you're a member of the Chiefs organization, or you cheer for the Chiefs, or you take pride in being from Kansas City, follow these 3 simple steps: (1) Find a heavy tool you can wield with one hand, like a crescent wrench or a claw hammer.  (2) Take that tool and hit yourself in the genitals as hard as you possibly can.  (3) Repeat until sterile.

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