The Dugout: Luck be a L.A.dy

04.22.11 7 years ago 22 Comments

Hey gang! I’d like to take this opportunity to thank With Leather for allowing me to contribute to the Dugout again. It is truly one of the best things that I have had the honor of being a part of, and writing today’s strip brought back a lot of fond memories. It was a lot of fun reading B’s Dugouts and seeing Jon’s return recently, but I really missed being a part of it.

The Dodgers are about to transform into a pile of mealy horse vomit. The messy divorce of two boring white people has spilled onto the diamond. The players, fans, and employees of the Los Angeles Dodgers will all be affected, if not ground into a fine powder and made into blue glue. Maybe Selig will sell the team to Donald Trump and by presidential decree the Dodgers will make it to the NLCS and actually put up a fight. Please do enjoy this very magical chat room.

The Dugout

  **Online Host**
Welcome to the Dodger Blue Chatroom!
EthierOr: And he went on this huge tirade about how Rocco’s Modern Life was the cleanup hitter of Nickelodeon’s Sunday morning lineup.
EthierOr: He was just arguing with himself, literally screaming about Cat Dog. I was like, "Relax, Manny. I agree. Just sit back down and wait for the plane to land."
EthierOr: By then the air marshall had already approached him and was trying to wrestle him to his seat. But Manny had the strength of ten, no, twenty men!
EthierOr: He opened the emergency exit and threw him out the hatch. And he somehow managed to shut the door and act like nothing happened.
JerrysHands: whoaaa
EthierOr: In hindsight I guess it was pretty obvious that Manny Ramirez was doping his gd brains out.
TakeHamburglarToMcCourt: pretty sure that’s why we hired him. that and to stimulate the fan base. man, i sold more wigs that year….
  **Online Host**
bud_is_wiser has entered the chatroom.
bud_is_wiser: Hello, gentlemen. I was just passing through
JerrysHands: hi
bud_is_wiser: Right. As I was saying, I was just passing through here last night and I heard smashing glass and yelling. What was all the racket about?
TakeHamburglarToMcCourt: oh, heh, that? that was just me and the ex sorting through some legal stuff. it’s been a real chore.
bud_is_wiser: I remember the revving of a chainsaw and someone crying out "I am going to plunge this chainsaw into your head until you are donezo."
TakeHamburglarToMcCourt: she’s really playing hardball, Bud. she won’t let go of this team.
bud_is_wiser: Well, I can understand why. It’s a storied franchise with a lot of money at stake.
PrandorasBrox: awwww man steak i forgot about that
  **Online Host**
PrandorasBrox has left the chatroom.
TakeHamburglarToMcCourt: but it’s not her team. I tried telling her, "Jamie, you’re not the CEO anymore, now go unearth some abandoned mining equipment so I can go Yukon Cornelius on your ass." but she won’t listen!
bud_is_wiser: it seems to me like you’re being a little over-aggressive.
TakeHamburglarToMcCourt: I can’t help it, Bud. that woman brings out the worst in me. I can’t be in the same room as her without palming my Derringer.
bud_is_wiser: It’s a horrible situation to be in. You have to see that being violent and vicious towards her is only making it worse.
bud_is_wiser: Relax, take a few deep ones, and talk to her like a human being.
TakeHamburglarToMcCourt: but she’s such a bitch
bud_is_wiser: effit, I’m stealing the team
  **Online Host**
TakeHamburglarToMcCourt has been booted from the chatroom.
bud_is_wiser: All right guys. New sheriff in town. If you’re smart you’ll listen to me.
bud_is_wiser: That is, unless you guys want to move to DC. I’ll change your name to The United States, just watch me.

EthierOr: So this is what Torre was talking about when he said "Have fun watching McCourt murder his wife and Selig seizing the team and moving you to Washington D.C. like a bunch of suckers." 


bud_is_wiser: You there! Grow dreadlocks. I’m going for the wig record.
JerrysHands: my head won’t
Photos link to player info.

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