02.16.09 9 years ago 6 Comments

Matt Kenseth won the Daytona 500 after they called the race after it started to rain. You know, I drive in the rain all the time, and I might be the second-worst male driver on the planet. One of the more notable performances of the day was that of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Just don’t bring it up in public or five rednecks will come up and try to fight you. From Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports:

Twice Dale Earnhardt Jr. blew his pit stop, both mind-numbing mistakes. The second cost him a one-lap penalty. Soon after, “fighting over nothing,” as Kyle Busch called it, Junior sparked a nine-car wreck that took out many of the serious contenders for the Daytona 500. Later, he got blamed for an incident with another driver.

It left Matt Kenseth to win a frustrating, rain-shorted race and left many wondering if Junior is going to insist on ruining his own race, he might be kind enough to spare everyone else. No one was hurt more than Busch, who had the best car all day, leading 88 of the first 125 laps.

The great thing about NASCAR is that they have their most important race as their first event of the season. It’s the trailer park equivalent of getting sex on a first date. Not that there’d be any reason to act prudish if you lived in a trailer park. Or frequently visit one. Fortunately the whores in this area make house calls. They’re just not so great at following directions. Or driving in the rain, for that matter.

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