The Hulk Hogan Real American Sex Tape Nightmare Is Almost Finally Over

Senior Writer
10.30.12 8 Comments

When you’re as awesomely famous as Hulk Hogan, you can’t go anywhere without a camera being pointed in your direction, as evidenced by the fight that broke out at his 2010 “private” wedding ceremony because of a photographer and that whole sex tape thing that just recently popped up. Well, despite Hogan being hard up for income since his ex-wife Linda took all of his money so she could grease up teenagers on a giant pile of cash, he still swears he had nothing to do with the leak of a two-minute clip of him sexing up Heather Clem.

Clem, of course, if the ex-wife of Hogan’s former best friend Bubba the Love Sponge, who seems like he’d love to be friends with Guy Fieri and the lead singer of Smash Mouth. In response to Gawker’s breakdown of the video, Hogan filed lawsuits against Mr. Love Sponge and Clem, as well as a $100 million doozie against Gawker. As of today, Hogan has pinned one of those enemies, and must now pin the other two to face Yokozuna at SummerSlam.

Bubba released an apology letter today … saying he now believes Hulk had no idea he was being recorded and that Hulk did not play a part in releasing the tape.

Bubba continues … “It is my belief that Hulk is not involved, and has not ever been involved, in trying to release the video, or exploit it, or otherwise gain from the video’s release in any way.”

Bubba closed the letter by saying he is “committed to helping Hulk and his attorneys find whoever is responsible for the release of the tape.” (Via … TMZ)

Well, please allow me to put on my Matlock pants. (Mainly because we’re really trying to boost our elderly readership… I SAID WE’RE TRYING TO BOOST OUR ELDERLY READERSHIP! It’s tough.)

If Hogan has dropped his lawsuit against Bubba, then we can assume that Bubba didn’t release the tape. So if Bubba didn’t release the tape, then it had to have either been Hogan or Clem, and since Hogan isn’t suing himself, we can deduce* that Clem is allegedly the person who leaked the video to Gawker, because there’s a possibility that she likes having her photo taken while she’s wearing revealing costumes. But that can’t be true. What could she possibly have to gain by polishing off Hulk’s summer sausage and selling it to the online gossip world?

Beats the crap out of me.

*Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe, deduce.

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