THE MACEDONIAN RECONQUISTA BEGINS

04.14.07 11 years ago 2 Comments

Remember that cool SUV you stole in Madrid?  Well, it's turned up in Alexander the Great's old stomping grounds:

SKOPJE (Reuters) – Police in Macedonia said on Friday they were unsure whether the country's interior minister was driving David Beckham's stolen BMW.

That's a bit embarrassing, but I'm sure the interior minister had no idea the automobile may have been stolen.  I'm just surprised how trusting the police were, because whenever the Cook County Sheriff's Police apprehend me in a 'borrowed' BMW, they're all like "Get the fuck out of that fine machine you little Shanty-Irish piece of shit.  I hope you got some vaseline handy because you're about to finally experience 'indoor plumbing' in county jail.  And if the Desk Sergeant asks, these are your Miranda Rights you skinny son of a bitch."  Really, they're nice guys; they're just doing their job.

Police spokesman Ivo Kotevski said Jankulovska's jeep was "probably not" Beckham's car.  "The only connection between the impounded jeep we have and the one stolen from Beckham is that they were stolen at approximately the same time," he said.

Mr. Kotevski went on to say that the item is probably not even a "vehicle".  "It's mostly just steel, and some wheels," he said.  "Frankly, I don't see how anyone could draw any comparisons to Mr. Beckham's lost property just because it looks exactly like it an the VIN # has been removed."  The positive way to interpret this news is that Macedonia is now Europe's Lost & Found.  That's a good idea, and I suggest we make Manitoba North America's version.  The negative way is that Macedonia is taking over the world again one vehicle at a time.  I know it's unlikely, but just to be safe, I'm reading the Nicomachean Ethics right after I check my auto insurance policy for a "world domination" clause. -KD

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