The Dolphins Think Your Mom “Sucks For Luck”

Senior Writer
10.20.11 6 Comments

The Miami Dolphins are 0-5. In no sport is that a good way to start a season, especially in the NFL, where teams don’t have the luxury of needlessly long seasons like the NBA and MLB. So it goes without saying that as the New England Patriots have once again established themselves as the standard in the AFC East, and the Buffalo Bills have proven that a franchise can climb out of a dumpster, Dolphins fans are pretty pissed off. Enter: The “Suck for Luck” faithful.

Very few people believe that Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck isn’t one of the most enticing arms in NFL draft history. By nearly every expert account, Luck is a sure fire NFL franchise QB – the next John Elway, Peyton Manning, and especially Dan Marino. That said, you’ll have to forgive Miami fans if they’re just a little intrigued by the idea of adding someone like that.

Too bad Karlos Dansby couldn’t give a damn, bro.

“It’s not right, bro. It’s not right,” Dansby said. “We put too much into this, man, to have the fans say that – period, point blank — or even promote that campaign. It’s kind of sad.”

“It pisses me off,” he said. “I don’t understand nothing about that. I put too many hours into this, man, put too many years into this, sacrificed too much to ask somebody to put that stipulation on me and my teammates. Because I know how much we put into this.”

“Man, we got 11 games. What are you talking about?” Dansby said. “We can’t look at next season. We’ve got 11 games. We can win ‘em out, and then what? Then you’d be biting your tongue. Those guys that are saying that are fair-weather fans. They’re not real Dolphins fans.”

(Via the Sun-Sentinel)

Win ’em out? OK, if the Dolphins win their next 11 games, I will legally change my name to “Karlos Dansby’s Bitch.” Dolphins coach Tony Sparano also chimed in on the “campaign.”

“What bothers me about it most,” Sparano said, “is we have a lot of players in that locker room — every player in that locker room — every coach upstairs, every [spokesman] Harvey Greene in this building, OK, that walk into this building every day with one agenda and that agenda is to win, OK? Period.”


You know, I walk out of my house every morning with one agenda and that’s to get into a limo with Mila Kunis and a billion dollars, but that doesn’t always happen either. I understand that it sucks to be a player busting his ass to win, but Dansby hasn’t even been with the team for two seasons. Some of us Miami fans have been with the team for decades, and we remember the late 80s and early 90s and what it was like to at least have our hopes crushed in the playoffs, as opposed to Week 3.

Sure, no fan should ever hope for guys to lose on purpose, but when you’re a third of the way through a season and your effort is already a complete failure, we start to think back…

Scott Mitchell

Jay Fiedler

Damon Huard

Ray Lucas

Brian Griese

A.J. Feeley

Gus Frerotte

Joey Harrington

Daunte Culpepper

Cleo Lemon

Trent Green

John Beck

Chad Pennington

Tyler Thigpen

Chad Henne

Matt Moore

And then there’s this:

So yeah, you might be able to see why Miami fans are trying to find one tiny shred of hope in their otherwise pathetic sports lives.

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