As most of the NFL’s analysts are busy prettying up their draft boards and fellating recently-retired quarterbacks, the league’s athletes are working to stay in midseason form. Bills running back Marshawn Lynch and Steelers kicker Jeff Reed had run-ins with law enforcement over the weekend.
“Reed caused damage to a towel dispenser as he was infuriated at the fact that there were no towels in it,” according to a news release by Trooper Shawn Askins, who issued the citations. The incident occurred Saturday about 2:50 a.m.
A message left on an answering machine at Reed’s home was not immediately returned.
Reed was cited for disorderly conduct and criminal mischief and sent on his way. I wonder if Reed got home and beat the hell out of his answering machine when there weren’t any messages on it. As for Lynch:
Police said Lynch was arrested Wednesday night after officers approached him and two other men sitting in a 2006 Mercedes-Benz in this Los Angeles suburb and found a loaded firearm.
Lynch was arrested after officers determined the gun belonged to him. He was released that night on $35,000 bail.
Guns and California go together like peanut butter and giraffes, but how do police just “find” a gun? Police have their own guns, and this persecution of millionaire athletes cannot stand. What am I gonna do about it? I’ll get to that a second. Right now I have to investigate something shiny in the hallway.