The Pacquiao and Paris Hilton Thing Finally Makes Sense

05.20.11 8 years ago 3 Comments

“God said, ‘Go out and multiply.’ He did not say, just have two or three kids,” Pacquiao preached.

That’s the reason congressman and World’s Best Boxer Manny Pacquiao is opposing a bill that encourages the use of contraceptives and family planning in the Philippines. As this blog does not have a liberal agenda~ I will note that his stance is favored by the Catholic Church and that 80% of Filipinos are Catholic. God, an omniscient being who most favors early-90s African-American mother Bébé, could not be reached for comment.

In another interview, Pac Man explains why if he’s gonna eat it, he’s gonna eat everything.

“It’s sinful to use condoms and commit abortion. My parents were poor… they had four children, it was very difficult but we persevered.”

I’m not sure how much of that perserverence involved Filipino venereal disease, but Manny did run away from home to become a boxer after watching his poor dad kill and eat the family dog, so I won’t dispute the guy. You’d think the struggles of being poor and dealing with thinned-out resources would encourage someone to NOT have babies, but I’ve lived in the American South too long to believe in reason. I just think you’ve got to be in a weird place to have sex with a woman, finish inside of her, and then get disappointed when you don’t get her pregnant. That is some kind of crazy awesome Duggar Family fantasy life.

[H/T Larry Brown]

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