The Shaun White Sex Scandal You’ve Been Waiting For

Quick, name the last person you’d like to see in a sex tape.

Did you say Carrot Top? It’s a statistical fact that when pressed with this question, 70% of Americans say Carrot Top. And, uh, this is the second worst.

A butt naked Shaun White smiled for the camera … while messing around on a bed with a hot naked lady back in 2009 … and now the X-rated photos are being shopped around town … TMZ has learned.

Sources tell TMZ … the photos were taken at a hotel party … a short time before The Flying Tomato won a gold medal at the 2009 Winter X-Games for Superpipe (haha … superpipe).

The “haha” aside and the landslide of ellipses are theirs, not mine. Or, as TMZ would write it,

The “haha” aside … and the landslide of ellipses … are theirs … not mine … TMZ has learned.

In all seriousness, this scandal threatens to shake the snowboarding, extreme sports, niche-video-games-when-1080-Snowboarding-isn’t-out and boys-t-shirt-racks-at-Target worlds to their foundations. Now instead of knowing him as “that one snowboarder”, everyone will know him as that one snowboarder who we had to see naked. At least this is great news for those weird girls who read Harry Potter and attach themselves to Ron.

At times like this, we can only take a step back and remember that pro athletes are only human, and thank God that Tony Hawk was popular before digital cameras were a thing.

[via … TMZ]