08.27.08 10 years ago 12 Comments

Last year I ranted about what a fascist asshole George Steinbrenner is for implementing the “Nobody moves during ‘God Bless America’ during the seventh-inning stretch” rule at Yankee Stadium.

Now, thanks to Bradford Campeau-Laurion, an ejected fan who wrote in to Deadspin, we’ve finally got an example of Yankee Stadium security strong-arming a fan who dared to defy the law of forced patriotism.

As I attempted to walk down the aisle and exit my section into the tunnel, I was stopped by a police officer. He informed me that I had to wait until the song was over. I responded that I had to use the restroom and that I did not care about God Bless America.

As soon as the latter came out of my mouth, my right arm was twisted violenty [sic] behind my back and I was informed that I was being escorted out of the stadium. A second officer then joined in and twisted my left arm… I informed them they were violating my First Amendment rights and that I had done nothing wrong, with no response from them.

I’ll be honest: this guy’s hyphenated double-French surname isn’t helping my impression that he’s a banana-grabbing communist, but there’s one overriding truth to this story: Yankee Stadium BLOWS. It’s a festering hive of overpriced sentimentality that strips the notion of “land of the free” out of the national pastime. If there’s a just God who blesses America, he’ll see to it that the litigious nature of the land that I love repeals Herr Steinbrenner’s unconstitutional rule and awards Frenchypants a hefty settlement.

Pinstripes are the new swastikas. Choke on a dick buffet, Yankees.

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