FlipBoardWelp, nothing's really going on today, which is a step up from non-stop Mitchell Report news, but not as fun as lot of stories about high school coaches being sexual predators. So here's comedian Daniel Tosh talking about end zone celebrations, LIVESTRONG bracelets, and some other non-sports-related stuff, including masturbation and poo jokes that I appreciated. Whatever, man. It's Friday. You think I'm gonna bust my ass writing jokes when this guy's telling a bunch of them for me? Now I know how high school history teachers felt when Gettysburg came out on VHS.
He's going to be performing at the Lakeshore Theater on Feb 2
Yea that Gettysburg film was blueprint for being a sexual predator.
Hey, wait a second. That guy ain't Jamaican!
/mixing up Peter Tosh and Daniel Tosh
He's no Mike Birbiglia.
VHS? VHS? Shit son… it was lazer disk in public schools.
My high school history teacher used to constantly lick his mustache…BEAT THAT.
Enrico, my high school history teacher used to constantly lick her moustache.
Beaten.
I got kicked out of history for laughing when Gandhi, played by Sir Ben Kingsley, got shot. (What? He made a funny noise.) Later that year I got thrown out of class for laughing during the movie "What's Love Got To Do With It". Now that shit is COMEDY CENTRAL!
"I am all for women that decide to get plastic surgery; It affords you the rare opportunity to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance: FAKE.
Now that's a very empowering joke for women unless you have fake boobs, but then, lets be honest, you're not bright enough to get that joke."
– Daniel Tosh
I used to get drunk at lunchtime in highschool, only to return to history class reeking of booze, to which my teacher said nothing. He was mussstasch-less.
I did the ol' "vodka/gin/Everclear in the water bottle" trick in class. Public schools, baby. Gotta love'em. Lunchtime was held for the coveted "smoke break".
I will choke you if you are younger, smaller, and preferably white.
Good…..I thought I was the only one.
Uff, I didn't know you had a grandson.
Those of us in the profession (teaching) call those (VHS tapes), lesson plans in a box. Basically it's how I read this freakin' blog.