This Is Why You Don't Wear Red Sox Gear Or Walk Into Face Kicks At Yankee Stadium

I’d like to preface this story by saying I’m a diehard Cleveland Indians fan. I’ve been to Yankee Stadium to watch the Tribe play, and when I went I wore my C hat and my jersey with a big red “INDIANS” across the front. When the Tribe scored, I cheered. When the Yankees scored, I booed. At no point was beer thrown on me, and at no point was I kicked in the face and knocked over multiple rows of steps.

Here’s my theory: I am not a dumb asshole. Also, I like a team that never wins.

Per the fine cats at Deadspin:

Things heat up around the 1:15 mark when alleged Red Sox fan punches someone and a regular slobber knocker ensues. Alleged Red Sox fan clearly got the worst of it as she took a boot to the face and tumbled back over the seats. Tipster Dave informs us that Alleged Red Sox fan was taking abuse most of the day and eventually had enough. This is the result.

Please enjoy that result, which lands somewhere between “tandem skydiving” and “being elbow-deep in Kate Upton” on the list of great (and somehow horrible) moments of which I’ll never be a part:

Like you might’ve expected, everyone in this video is a douchebag. The Red Sox fan who gets KO’d, the bundled up Yankees fan who exacerbates things with a beer shower, the guy chanting LET THEM FIGHT because “stop being drunk and be normal people” is hard to chant and the cameraman’s predictable “heh, this is going on YouTube!” And me, I guess, for sharing it here when it got there.

If you’re among the thousands who feel drunken crowd fights give the game a black eye, here are two important things to remember:

1. These are Yankees and Red Sox fans (“fans”), without these black eyes they don’t have an identity.

2. Baseball gives itself a million little black eyes every day. Example: Bruce Chen trying to pick off Denard Span ten times in one at-bat. (via Big League Stew)

I’d want to kick somebody in the face if I’d paid to watch that.