Whoever thought of mashing up Teen Wolf and Miss Piggy deserves a free beer, because this silly-looking Wookie seems to be a hot topic of discussion today. I understand that Rumble, the new mascot of the Oklahoma City Thunder, was a last-minute replacement for the team’s original mascot idea, a fun-loving, knife-wielding chimpanzee.
The Thunder concocted a background story for the mascot, saying Rumble helped save the rest of his herd of bison during a ferocious storm before he was stranded alone in the Arbuckle Mountains and was struck by a bolt of lightning that gave him added strength and agility.
The bolt of lightning also gave him a huge, 17-inch penis and a profound fear of loud household appliances. Just don’t spend too much time out with your friends this weekend, or you might come home to sheets full of hybrid bison semen. You’ve been warned.