This One Time, Like Eight Months Ago, I Saw Two Guys Kissing in a Park

06.28.11 7 years ago 12 Comments

… and that was the gayest thing I’d ever seen until I watched this video of Wanderlei Silva preparing for his UFC 132 fight against Chris Leben with the “Little Horse Drill”, a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu training technique also known as “piggyback chucklemonster slap-fighting”. It helps if you giggle while you do it. As you watch the video please keep in mind that I am not using “gay” as a synonym for “bad” or “worthy of derision” here, I am simply using it to mean “homosexual”.

And even that’s not a bad thing, because hey, it doesn’t matter how gay this is. If every guy in the video was shoot gay they could still rip off my arms and beat me to death with them, as human sexuality has nothing to do with toughness or personal worth. Hopefully any MMA fans watching this will be able to accept that the old pro wrestling talking point of “guys rolling around with each other in their underwear” is moot, because there are a lot of heterosexual reasons to bearhug and roll around with folks in your jammies. Think of it like a chicken fight in the pool, only everyone has a crew cut and prison tattoos. Wait, where am I going with this?

What I’m trying to say is that if anybody ever films me doing something like this it’d better be Nickelodeon, and I’d better be in the middle of a game of Wild and Crazy Kids.

[h/t to Cage Potato]

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