This Week In WTF World Record Attempts

Senior Writer
07.26.11 2 Comments

Following up a story from a few weeks ago, the residents of Fremont, Nebraska can finally breathe a heavy sigh of relief. They’re world record holders.
The Guinness Book of World Records has declared that the disgusting 1,652-pound pile of Spam on a giant piece of bread qualifies as the world’s largest open-faced sandwich, barely beating out Somalia’s dust on a cracker.

Mayor Scott Getzschman said his city recently received word that the 1,652-pound Spam sandwich – or “Spamwich” – created July 9 as part of the John C. Fremont Days celebration has been certified by the Guinness World Records.
“I’m excited for Fremont and I’m excited for Don Cunningham who organized the event,” Getzschman said. “It took quite a bit of planning.”
Getzschman said Cunningham and his wife, Nan, hand delivered the documentation for the sandwich to Guinness officials while on a vacation to London. The previous record holder was a 1,337-pound pork sandwich created by Moore’s Bar-B-Que in New Bern, N.C. (Via Omaha World Herald)

After London, Cunningham is also going to swing by Beirut to discuss the world’s largest dump that the town took after finishing the sandwich.
So is that the worst of the world record news for this week? You wish. Each week, I sort through this news out of my own personal fascination over what people will do for fame. And I fear I will never build immunity to the shock that each new week delivers. See for yourself after the jump.

World’s most expensive hotdog:

On Saturday, the Broxton Rox, an independent minor league team up in Massachusetts, set a world record for selling the most expensive hot dogs ever sold.

The pimped-out wiener was a foot-long, all-beef frank, “deep fried and rolled in truffle oil, then coated in porcini dust, sprinkled with white truffle shavings and topped with dollops of creme fraiche, caviar and fresh roe,” according to the Brockton Rox website.
The K-O Dog humbled the previous record holder, sold at Serendipity 3 in New York City for a mere $69. Louis Glanz of Windsor, Conn., was credited with buying the record-breaking dog at Campanelli Stadium. (Via NESN)

As if the rivalry between Boston and New York couldn’t be any more intense, they had to go and do this. Eventually, a small market minor league team will come along and try to defeat the record after they pull together average-sized hot dogs and link them together to make one outstanding meal with affordable condiments. Unfortunately, very few people will buy it and those dogs will be purchased individually by other major market teams, only to underperform.
A one-year old boy from northern India had been declared the new world record holder for being born with the most fingers and toes, and his family didn’t even know it. Akshat Saxena popped out of the womb with 14 fingers and 20 toes, defeating the record of 31 digits previously held by some nobody loser kid in China. So hooray for Akshat, the polydactyl prince, right?

Akshat, from Uttar Pradesh, northern India, has since had surgery to remove the excess digits.
And doctors are trying to construct thumbs from the fingers they amputated. (Via The Sun)

Damn you, meddling doctors! In the meantime, the Saxena family is proud of their little guy’s accomplishment, as any parent would be. But I, for one, am worried. What are us bloggers going to do when Akshat and his army of 14-fingered bloggers take over the Internet with dick jokes at the speed of light? It’s a grim future, friends.
This is last week’s world record news, but it’s from America so you will live with it and love it. Twenty-one year old Justin Werner of Topeka, KS went to the hospital for a tonsillectomy and an adenoidectomy back in January, but last month was when the paydirt hit. His tonsils were the biggest ever removed.

Werner, who is 195 pounds and 6-foot-3 inches tall, had tonsils that “smashed” the old record, held by Justin Dodge, of Milwaukee.
One of Werner’s tonsils came in at 2.1 inches long, 1.1 inches wide, and 0.7 inch thick, and the other was 1.9 inches long, 1 inch wide and .7 inch thick. They were 0.8 inches and 0.6 longer than Dodge’s tonsils. (Via Topeka Capital-Journal)

If I were Werner, I’d spend the rest of my life stalking Dodge and reminding him how pathetic of a man he is. If Dodge buys a car, Werner should buy one twice as big. If Dodge marries a model, Werner should marry two. It’s all about pride, this tonsil game.
Express, the store for guys who like to wear dragons on their dress shirts with class, hosted an event at Times Square on Saturday with the hopes of breaking the Guinness World Record for the world’s largest runway fashion show. The retail clothing chain passed out t-shirts to more than 1,200 participants to achieve this goal and allow random dudes and babes to pretend they were models for a few minutes.
The event marked the first time that Express distributed anything that was actually an XL.
(Via Racked)
It has been a few years since George the Great Dane, owned by Dave and Christie Nasser, was declared the world’s largest dog. But that distinction is finally paying off today. George, measuring 7-foot-3 from head to tail, got himself a book deal. Because dogs write books now.

George’s growth spurt and significant poundage (245 lbs!) is all chronicled in Giant George, a new memoir penned by Nasser that comes out August 4. According to the book, life wasn’t always easy for the high-reaching pup. Before fame came knocking, George was bullied out of the local park’s puppy section because other owners feared he would harm the other dogs. Turned out, George was the fearful one. “Our enormous puppy was a big softie,” wrote Nasser. “Besides his terror of being left alone, he had a fear of water.” (He’s also afraid of Chihuahuas.) (Via Time)

*wipes away tears* What a beautiful tale of American success. I don’t know who wrote the book, but if they’re looking to pen a follow-up, there’s a kid in India who might be able to help.

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