Tim Tebow Wants To Sell You His Underwear

07.27.10 8 years ago 7 Comments

Be prepared to have the crotch cleavage of your favorite professional bible thumper forever seared into your memory for the foreseeable future because pretty soon Tim Tebow’s privates will be blown up and shown wherever advertisements are sold. According to Darren Rovell’s twitter, and verified by his own page on the Jockey underwear website, Tim Tebow is the new face of those testicle shattering compression shorts athletes like to wear.

Heisman Trophy Winner and pro football quarterback Tim Tebow will serve as a Jockey spokesperson beginning in July, 2010.

“I’m excited to represent the Jockey brand. I’ve long been a fan and consumer of Jockey and I’m looking forward to a great relationship with such a respectable and innovative company.”

Tim will work with several of Jockey’s product lines, including the Jockey Staycool collection coming in Spring 2011. -Jockey

It’s tough to imagine someone who values their image as a crystal clean Christian lover of the universe as much as Tebow to do something as racy as appear in underwear advertisements, but I guess somebody has to pay for his trips to the Philippines to chop off the foreskins of orphan babies, right? And for all we know, Tebow may have already chopped off his private parts to have them cryogenically frozen until marriage to stave off any chance of female temptation so we may not even have to stare at the massive outline of his private region as it stares menacingly down upon us from its perch in the middle of Times Square. Good luck, New Yorkers. At least this’ll make being blind cool again.

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