Try not to let an awkwardly spliced clip a 15-year-old episode of South Park ruin this for you — it’s Tom Brady lumbering down a ski slope and eating it on a tiny hill mastered by children. In Brady’s defense he may be new to this or maybe he hasn’t figured out the best way to cheat at this sport yet.
If you dare doubt this is Brady, you can see his comment in reply to David Beckham, which is about the most 2017 journalism confirmation thing you can type.
Two things stand out for me as I watched Brady crash much like the way he would in Super Bowls if not for Malcolm Butler, Adam Vinatieri and cheating — one is the fact he probably had someone make this video, as if watching him fall wouldn’t be satisfying enough. It made me wonder if he has a social media person he pays to do stuff like this and how much he pays said person.
The other thing I wondered was a thing I’ve always believed was possible — Brady is your friend that quotes movies and TV shows you don’t know, or super obscure lines from those things only he finds memorable. He probably quotes lines from AirWolf while his teammates pretend to get it because they want him to have a hissy fit.
And the pizza/french fry thing doesn’t even make sense here. He flipped over in mid-air like a doofus because he has no balance.
Luckily for Brady, he was able to get into his magic expensive pajamas to heal properly for the next day’s activity of being bad at sports where he can’t cheat.
