06.26.08 10 years ago 8 Comments

The Russians are pulling out all the stops to win today's Euro 2008 semifinal over Spain, even if that means offering up two young devotchkas to each enterprising soccernaut who manages to score a goal. And failing that, former KGB agents gunning down the Spaniards. Whichever works.

Russian Euro 2008 players have been promised two gorgeous girls for each goal they score.

Wealthy socialite Pyotr Listerman was filmed making the offer to star player Andrei Arshavin, 27.

Listerman, known for setting up rich Russians with wives, said: “For each goal I’ll present two beautiful chicks. Watch the guys react.”

Well, if based on this Pyotr's reputation, these women are expected to be wedded, then it might not have the intended effect. Those Russian brides are so grubby. I shouldn't have ordered six of them. And what does an assist get you? A couple vital organs? Don't scoff. That Russian black market keeps them remarkably well maintained.

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