It’s time again for some Ultimate Fighting Championship brand Mixed Martial Arts action, you guys! Live, from Broomfield, Colorado on Saturday, February 14th, UFC Fight Night 60 kicks off at 7:30 PM ET. Let’s dive into the critically acclaimed hilarious and accurate Uproxx Sports predictions!
Important Standings of Note:
Jessica: 323-194-3 (62%)
Burnsy: 318-198-4 (62%)
Vince: 168-104-1 (62%)
Danny: 161-77-1 (67%)
Spilled: 76-56-2 (57%)
Sydnie: 16-12 (57%)
Chris: 30-10 (75%)
NY Ric: 36-26-1 (57%)
Ghost: 6-7 (46%)
Seth: 32-15 (68%)
Biss: 32-25-1 (56%)
Lightweight – James “Moon Walker” Moontasri vs Cody “The Fist” Pfister
Jessica: Dude, of course I’m going with THE FIST. That’s just the kind of stupidly goofy nickname I enjoy. Cody is going to punch James in the pface and TKO him in the second.
Burnsy: Pfister? I hardly know her. See, that’s the kind of adult MMA humor you can always expect from me. I’m taking Moontasri because I am hoping that he wins with a Michael Jackson leg kick KO and immediately moves into a moon walk.
Flyweight – Zach “Fun Size” Makovsky vs Tim Elliott
Jessica: I love the heck out of flyweights! I have to admit, when Makovsky came over from Bellator, I expected big things out of the little guy, and that hasn’t exactly happened. I think Elliott is decent, but he’s not good enough to take out Makovsky. Fun Size will wrestle his way to a decision win, and that might be enough to get a title shot against Mighty Mouse if John Dodson is still injured.
Burnsy: Elliott desperately needs a win or his next UFC fight, if there is a next UFC fight, will most certainly be a pink slipper. I’ll give his beard the benefit of the doubt and the win, but if he doesn’t have that beard, my pick changes to Fun Size.
Featherweight – Chas “The Scrapper” Skelly vs Jim “The Beast” Alers
Jessica: I will readily agree that Chas Skelly is a perplexing name that makes me want to throw things, but the dude is a good-ish fighter. If I’ve seen Alers in the cage before, nothing about his performance warrants a memory, so I’m going with Skelly to win a grappley decision.
Burnsy: Two guys with 13-1 records and only one of them can be 14-1. Skelly has won two straight and Alers only has the one UFC fight (albeit a win) under his belt, so I will stick with Skelly’s experience.
Lightweight – Efrain “Hecho en Mexico” Escudero vs Rodrigo “Monstro” de Lima
Jessica: I don’t understand how Escudero keeps getting hired back to the UFC. He’s not a good fighter, at least not by UFC standards. Lima should be able to submit Efrain in the first round and send him back to RFA or something.
Burnsy: Since defeating Dan Lauzon at UFC 114 in 2010, Escudero is 0-4 in UFC fights. Sure, he had a couple wins in Bellator, as well as in CFA, RFA, A2M, LMNOP, A/S/L and other lettered organizations, but in the UFC he has become a gimme. HOWEVER, de Lima got knocked the F out by Neil Magny in his UFC debut, so I’m not positive the inexperienced guy is ready either. I will very reluctantly give this one to Escudero.
Featherweight – Nik “The Carny” Lentz vs Levan “The Hornet” Makashvili
Jessica: Lentz has the number three best dog in my second edition of dog rankings, which is an outstanding accomplishment. I don’t know anything about Levan, but I’m pretty confident that Lentz will wrestle him into a fine paste. Lentz wins by decision.
Burnsy: Lentz only fought once last year, but this will be his 15th UFC fight. He’ll take care of the newcomer easily.
Flyweight – Ray “The Taz-Mexican Devil” Borg vs Chris “The Greek Assassin” Kelades
Jessica: Taz-Mexican Devil is too ridiculous to bet against. Borg is going to assimilate Kelades, throw his gyros on the ground, and submit him by the second round.
Burnsy: Borg took a split loss in his debut against Dustin Ortiz and then bounced back and humiliated Shane Howell in the first round. I don’t know enough about either of these guys, but I think Borg is clearly the better fighter.
Lightweight – Michel “Tractor” Prazeres vs Kevin “Motown Phenom” Lee
Jessica: For once I’m not going with my “Motown Philly” reference joke, but I’m still picking Lee to win the fight. He should out-grapple the piece of farm equipment and take home a decision win.
Burnsy: I really dig that Lee fought three times last year to get some strong experience under his belt, and to finish his rookie year in the UFC with a 2-1 record is nice. Prazeres is also 2-1 since joining the UFC, but he’s not as exciting, despite his experience in MMA (nine more fights and started in 2000). I’ll go with Lee.
Middleweight – Dan Kelly vs “The Beast from the East” Pat Walsh
Jessica: Sorry Patrick, but you ain’t Bam Bam Bigelow, so you’re going down. Kelly is going to judo Walsh all over the place and submit him in the first round.
Burnsy: Kelly gave us arguably the most exciting action at Fight Night: Rockhold vs. Bisping, when he took out Luke Zachrich with a first round kimura. Also, what’s that sound? That’s right, it’s my undefeated fighter siren! Kelly moves his record to 9-0.
Welterweight – Neil Magny vs Kiichi “Strasser” Kunimoto
Jessica: If you’ve been following these predictions, you should know that I started with an intense dislike of NEIL MAGNY, and then I just got mad he kept winning his fights, so I caved in and now I go with it. I like Kunimoto, but until he proves me wrong, I’m going with Mr. Unanimous Decision, NEIL MAGNY.
Burnsy: I said I would not pick against Magny again until he loses, so I won’t break my word here.
Featherweight – Max “Blessed” Holloway vs Cole “Magrinho” Miller
Jessica: It has been a long time since we’ve seen Miller and his cultish ATT tattoo on his nonexistent bicep in the cage. Holloway has put together some solid wins recently, but I still think his ground game is garbage. Maybe not the hot garbage it once was, but still at least room temperature. Miller will probably take some vicious body shots, but end up getting the fight to the ground and putting Max away. Miller wins by second round submission.
Burnsy: I’m not sold on the Blessed one yet as a primetime, co-main event fighter, but his win over Akira Corassani at Fight Night in October was BEEEEEEEEAUTIFUL. I’ll take him to put Miller down, too, and then make his case for a Top 10 guy. How about if he and Lentz win, they fight next? Look at how great I am at booking fights.
Welterweight – Benson “Smooth” Henderson vs Brandon “Rukus” Thatch
Jessica: First of all, I want to say that I’m really sad that Thatch isn’t fighting Stephen Thompson, because Rukus versus Wonderboy would have been an all-time great violence festival. That being said, I like Bendo, but he has trouble keeping lightweights on the ground, and not only is Thatch bigger and stronger, but he hits crazy hard, and he is great at jumping on dudes when he has them hurt. Thatch wins by second round TKO.
Burnsy: I hate that Bendo has lost two in a row and I hate that he’s making a go at welterweight, despite him thinking it’s a “smart decision.” However, even as much as I love watching this guy fight as a fixture in the lightweight title hunt, that division is now as much of a log jam as the welterweight division is, so maybe a change will do him good. I’ll take Bendo to pull off a miracle, followed by a shot at my boy Gunnar Nelson.
Performance of the Night
Jessica: Lima, Thatch
Burnsy: Holloway, Henderson
Fight of the Night
Jessica: Makovsk vs Elliott
Burnsy: Holloway vs Miller