What’s up, fight fans? UFC taking a trip to the Netherlands, and that means we’ve got some Dangerous Dutchmen on the card. Fight Night 87 kicks off at 10:30AM ET on UFC Fight Pass, so let’s see who’s going to win and how they’ll do it.
2016 Important Results:
Jessica: 74-60-2 (55 percent)
Burnsy: 68-54-1 (56 percent)
Ryan: 5-1 (83 percent)
Jason: 14-10 (58 percent)
Jackman: 7-5 (58 percent)
Enrique: 7-5 (58 percent)
Jamie: 10-8 (56 percent)
Justin: 13-4 (76 percent)
Marty: 20-12-1 (62 percent)
Jared: 13-11 (54 percent)
Parker: 3-4 (43 percent)
Dr. Vet: 39-21-2 (65 percent)
Flyweight – Willie “Whoop Ass” Gates vs Yuta “Ulka” Sasaki
Jessica: Both guys are 1-2 in the UFC, but Gates has lost to better fighters. I’m taking WHOOP ASS to whoop some ass. Gates wins by third round TKO.
Welterweight – Leon “Rocky” Edwards vs Dominic “Sho Nuff” Waters
Jessica: “Rocky” taking on “Sho Nuff” means it’s MOVIE FIGHT TIME! Rocky’s got a reach disadvantage, but I think he’ll get in close and land short punches on Dom’s chin. Edwards wins by second round TKO.
Flyweight – Kyoji Horiguchi vs Neil “2Tap” Seery
Jessica: Oh come on! You can’t do this kinda stuff to me. I like both these dudes a whole lot, don’t make me pick between them. Seery’s saved up his vacation and finally has time off down at the docks, which is always charming. He’s also been eating a lot of chocolate Easter eggs in preparation, so he should have plenty of energy. Horiguchi is a young baby, so he should be good even with a loss here, but that doesn’t mean I want him to lose. Arrghh, I’m going with Seery by decision since I think his OLD MAN STRENF will prevail.
Lightweight – Yan Cabral vs Reza “Mad Dog” Madadi
Jessica: I’m going with the guy that isn’t a convicted thief. Cabral wins by decision.
Lightweight – Josh Emmett vs Jon “Super Saiyan” Tuck
Jessica: I’m conflicted. I don’t think Tuck is all that great, but Emmett is super short notice. On the flip side, Emmett does have a win over Rocky Johnson, father of The Rock. I can’t pick against that. Emmett wins by third round submission.
Middleweight – Magnus “Jycken” Cedenblad vs Gareth “Soldierboy” McLellan
Jessica: I always seem to get Cedenblad confused with Jotko, who “Jycken” tapped out with a SICK NASTY guillotine like two years ago. Holy cow, what has Magnus been up to in that time? Unless Cedenblad has unlearned how to fight, I’m taking him to beat McLellan, who hasn’t really looked impressive in the UFC so far. Magnus takes a second round submission.
Lightweight – Chris Wade vs Rustam “Tiger” Khabilov
Jessica: Dang it, another fight where I like both people. I’ll admit, some of the shine has come off Khabilov, but he’s still a solid grappler and a Dagestani to boot. Wade’s a Strong Island guy, and those dudes are my jam as well. I’m going to give Rustam the edge here just based on experience. Khabilov takes a close decision.
Strawweight – Karolina Kowalkiewicz vs Heather Jo “Hurricane” Clark
Jessica: This is a pretty big mismatch, at least to my dumb brain. I’m expecting Karolina to Kowalkiewicz all over Clark and nab a unanimous decision win.
Light Heavyweight – Nikita “Miner” Krylov vs Francimar “Bodao” Barroso
Jessica: THE KING IS BACK!!! Krylov is going to rip Barroso into hundreds of tiny pieces and scatter them to the crowd. Krylov takes this by first round KO.
Bantamweight – Germaine “The Iron Lady” de Randamie vs Anna “Panda” Elmose
Jessica: I still hold a grudge against de Randamie for stealin a split decision against Julie Kedzie like three years ago. Elmose is that lady what did a curtsey after winning and that’s just the best. Elmose wins by second round TKO.
Welterweight – Gunnar “Gunni” Nelson vs Albert “Einstein” Tumenov
Jessica: AW HELL TO THE NAW. Another fight with two people I never want to see lose? DAGNABBIT, UFC, STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART! I’m going to take Albert because it’s just so damn hard to beat Tumenov in the cage with thousands of people watching. I like Gunni, and I know Burnsy is going to not only throw in behind him 1000%, but he might fire me for going against him, but I just don’t see how on earth Nelson beats Tumenov here. Albert wins by third round TKO.
Heavyweight – Stefan “Sky Scraper” Struve vs Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva
Jessica: I really want Struve to get it together and be the giant kickboxing, BJJ ace he could be. Silva’s just the right amount of shitty to pull it off. However, Silva does punch pretty hard, and Struve hardly ever uses his reach advantage very well. I’m going to predict a Stefan Struve Special, which is when Struve gets beat up in the first but comes back to finish the fight in the second. Let’s say by triangle choke. Second round sub for the Sky Scraper.
Heavyweight – Alistair “The Reem” Overeem vs Andrei “Pitbull” Arlovski
Jessica: Before December, I would have said this is a walk in the park for Andrei. He was on a decent winning streak, edging back into the upper echelon of the heavyweight division, while Overeem was floating in a sea of mediocrity. Now, Reem has a KO over JDS, while Arlovski went down to Miocic’s fists of fury. Reem probably has more power, but if Arlovski starts to land even a little bit, there’s a chance that Alistair will stand completely still and shell up, which doesn’t work with tiny gloves. On the flip side, Arlovski might just charge right into a counter and get his head exploded.
This is such a tough fight to call since in my opinion, both dudes have proclivities for losing in dumb ways. I’m going to go with Andrei since Maximus Arlovski is one of the best dogs in the entire world. Andrei wins by second round KO.
Performance of the Night
Jessica: Krylov, Arlovski
Fight of the Night
Jessica: Wade vs Khabilov