Ultimate Warrior, 1959-NOT DEAD

I thought I was going to be done for the day, but the punny reprobates at the New York Post have dragged me back in. In their report of Randy Savage’s death, they wrote the following.

Savage’s passing follows the deaths of several other prominent wrestlers from the 1980s, including Yokozuna, Ultimate Warrior, Bam Bam Bigelow and Savage’s one-time female partner and wife, Miss Elizabeth.

The problem here is that Ultimate Warrior isn’t dead. In fact, he’s more the Warrior now than he was in the 80s, because he changed his name to WARRIOR (legally, in all caps). The whole “the original Ultimate Warrior is dead” rumor/running gag was born in that wonderful time when dumb wrestling fans figured out they could say what they “heard” to other dumb wrestling fans and they’d believe it. I think I read the same rumor about Yokozuna joining the Hart Foundation for two and a half years.

So yeah, hey New York Post, Warrior isn’t dead. You run a terrible operation, and make it hard for people of worth to get jobs in journalism. Warrior is alive, Yokozuna is never going to join the Hart Foundation, the original Undertaker is the same stupid Undertaker being the Undertaker right now, and stop getting dX420suckIt from the back pages of the Torch to write your articles.

×