Sports

Von Miller’s Flatulence Is Causing Quite The Problem On ‘Dancing With The Stars’

In the above video, you can hear Super Bowl MVP Von Miller fart four times while practicing for Dancing With The Stars. I’m old enough to remember a time when Super Bowl MVPs went to Disneyland and received huge endorsement deals; now they fart on a reality show about dancing.

“And now she’s fining me for farting.” — Von Miller

So every time Miller farts, he is fined $100 by Witney Carson. Considering he made nearly $15 million last season, he is probably OK with letting out gas as he pleases.

Let’s take this immature discussion about a man who toots to a more serious, analytical level.

Does Miller fart this much during games? Like, when he came around the edge and forced a sack/fumble/touchdown with a hit on Cam Newton in Super Bowl 50, did he let one rip in the process? Is he farting before the snap? Is it so loud as to create a false start?

And what of the smell? Whenever we see players vomit on the field, we assume dehydration or nerves. But is Miller’s flatulence so toxic that it creates an unfair advantage?

If you’re not finding Miller highlights on YouTube and adding fart noises to them right now, what is the point of the Internet?

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