Want To Support Little League Baseball? Buy This Assault Rifle

Last year, a raffle to support a small-town Illinois little league team raised only $10. This year, the people involved in that raffle have upped the ante by offering cookies and lemonade, and holding a yard sale. Wait, no, I’m sorry, they’re auctioning off an AR-15 assault rifle and a 30-round magazine.

This is a raffle you’ll want to win, because Atwood, Ill., is overrun by a bunch of drug-smuggling pirates, and sure, your stealth melee attacks are important for sneaking into outposts and turning off alarms, but eventually you’re gonna want to stand on a tiger cage and blow everybody away. That’s what little league baseball is all about. Little league baseball or FarCry 3, I keep getting those two confused.

“We could have went with a basic shotgun or something simple,” said league commissioner Steven McClain. “But obviously it’s not going to draw the attention, not going to draw the volume we’re hoping to make.”

Helping the struggling baseball program seemed like a no-brainer. The [Atwood] armory sponsors a team and knows the need for money was great.

“All that money collectively goes towards paying for shirts, hats, gloves, field maintenance, umpires.” (via Illinois Homepage)

They’ll find even more money if they search all the treasure chests in the area.

My favorite part of the story is that the woman who runs the place where they use weapons to raise money for causes is named CHARIDY BUTCHER:

“If we were to sell that gun in store with all the accessories and ammo with it, it would be well over $2,000,” said co-owner Charidy Butcher.

“It was never a political agenda. It is what it is. We picked the rifle that would sell the most to raise the most for these organizations,” said Butcher.

Of course, With Leather isn’t in the business of deciding what is best for You And Your’n (and the United States is very, very concerned with how many guns it has and whether or not anybody can touch them), so I’ll let you watch this video where a guy chuckles about how he’s taught his kids about proper gun safety by leaving a loaded gun alone in a house with a bunch of children and draw your own conclusions.

It’s totally okay if your conclusion is, “Illinois Little League Baseball is run by Ron Swanson.”

[h/t to Prep Rally]