Sports

War Machine Laughs In Court As His Former Girlfriend Christy Mack Describes How He Allegedly Beat And Raped Her

Jonathan Koppenhaver, a.k.a. War Machine, was in a Las Vegas court Friday for a preliminary hearing on charges of attempted murder, assault, battery, open and gross lewdness and strangulation of former girlfriend and porn star Christy Mack. At one point during the hearing, the MMA fighter was scolded by the judge for laughing during Mack’s testimony.

Here is the exchange.


Prosecutor
: “Judge I would like the record to show that Mr. Koppenhaver is laughing and shaking his head.”
Judge: “I heard it.”
Defense: “Objection, he wasn’t laughing.”
War Machine: “I didn’t laugh.”
Judge: “I watched him laugh.”

Mack suffered serious injuries from the night in question including 18 broken bones, dental injuries and a ruptured liver. As a result of her testimony and the overwhelming physical evidence, War Machine was bound over for trial. He will be arraigned in Las Vegas District Court next Thursday.

[KLAS]

Now check out…

All The Tina Belcher Quotes From ‘Bob’s Burgers’ You Should Be Using In Everyday Conversation

by Stephen Tompkins

The Bob’s Burgers writers must have a field day when it comes to dreaming up dialogue for the most relatable 13-year-old sex-driven hopeless romantic on television —  Tina Belcher. She says everything most of us thought while walking through the hallways of junior high and high school, and in turn, seems more and more like we’re reading a page out of our own journal/diary each episode. With that in mind I’ve gathered some of her best quotes that we should all be using in everyday, because butts!

“Uhhh.”

Everyday use: When things aren’t exactly going as planned.

“Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it.”

Everyday use: When it’s inevitable that you’ll win them over.

“I’m a smart strong sensual woman.”

Everyday use: Self-affirmation.

“Time for the charm bomb to explode.”

Everyday use: When you’re pumping up your confidence.

“My heart, my heart.”

Everyday use: When there’s no pizza left for you.

“My crotch is itchy.”

Everyday use: When you want to get out of work.

“I’m no hero, I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.”

Everyday use: When you want to put on a humble front.

“Our toaster is also confused. It doesn’t know where bagels go.”

Everyday use: When you’re relating your struggles to home appliances.

“I’ve logged over 3,000 fantasy hours on my relationship.”

Everyday use: When you know exactly how your relationship will play out.

“Just when I think I’m out, those cheeks pull me right back in.”

Everyday use: When you’re reminded of why you had a crush on someone in the first place.

“Dad, I need you to drop everything and shave my legs.”

Everyday use: When there’s no one else to ask!

“Is it possible to be in love with 25 people at once?”

Everyday use: When everyone you see is looking good.

“Oh it’s okay, I guess I wasn’t meant to have a good life.”

Everyday use: When nothing is coming up you.

“If boys had uteruses they’d be called duderuses.”

Everyday use: When you think you’re on the brink of scientific discovery.

“If you need me I’ll be down here on the floor dying.”

Everyday use: When no one understands.

“Here’s a bunch of number that may look random, but they’re my phone number.”

Everyday use: When your mouth is moving faster than your brain.

“I’m gonna write the most erotic, graphic, freakiest friend fiction ever.”

Everyday use: When you’re feeling frisky.

“If he has a butt for touching and lips for kissing, I’m going for that.”

Everyday use: When you’re not aiming too high.

“If we see any mermaids I’m gonna ask them where their merginas are.”

Everyday use: When you want to know the truth.

“Butts”

Everyday use: BUTTS.

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