NFL players are large human beings, some of whom weigh in excess of 300 pounds. And because they burn an insane amount of calories on the football field, they need to eat an exorbitant amount of food to keep up. Guys like J.J. Watt have been known to eat as many as 9,000 calories, chock-full of meals with bacon, omelets, protein pancakes and a vast array of delicious meats.
All of that somehow ties into this story about the Washington Redskins going HAM at a restaurant on Monday (Mastro’s in D.C.) to the tune of $22,159.04. And you’ll never guess who paid for it? That’s right, the rookies. The poorest, most financially irresponsible kids on the team (presumably). As a wise man once said, “the meanest kind of hazing is the one that hits you in the wallet.” Actually, that’s not true at all, but let’s just roll with it for the purposes of this post because $22k is a colossal waste of money for food and booze.
Here are some pics of the bill, courtesy of several Washington Redskins players, including nose tackle Terrance Knighton. He’s a veteran, so he didn’t have to chip in.
“Dinner was great. It felt good to be able to just eat and leave. It was quite a bill, but I’ve got expensive tastes.”
An elaborate dine-and-dash.
Come on, guys. Five-dollar Shirley Temples? Who do you think you are, Joel Embiid?
Anyway, the Redskins had good reason to celebrate. On Sunday, they completed a miraculous 24-0 comeback over the Tampa Bay Bucs, winning in the game’s final minute, 31-30. It appears Kirk Cousins was not at this lavish dinner, but we can probably guess how he felt about the whole thing.