We told you last week that Rob Gronkowski erotica exists and can be purchased for the low, low price of $2.51 for your Kindle (so you can Kindle yourself all night long to that sweet Gronk). Could life get sexier? Why, we’re happy you asked.
Like a sexual chocolate and peanut butter, two sexy, sexy beings have come together — at last. Courtesy of TMZ, please enjoy A Gronking to Remember read to you by none other than Gilbert Gottfried, the only person capable of adequately describing the author’s “silky ribbons of juicy pleasure.” Please, try to refrain from pleasuring yourself until the audio is complete.
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If you need a cigarette break, we understand.
We hope this is only the first in a long line of celebrity-read football-inspired erotica. I most look forward to Bobcat Goldthwait’s reading of Peyton’s Playtime or Fran Drescher’s RG-3 Fingers. Neither has been written yet, but I’m on it.