10.27.08 9 years ago 22 Comments

Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga has spent the better part of the last two decades screwing over whichever Florida sports teams he could get his hands on, but now he’s finally ready to minimize his tightfisted mismanagement by selling most of his share of the team to partial owner John Ross.

But Wayne has to hurry!  The billionaire who luxuriates in the accumulated wealth from Blockbuster and Waste Management might have to pay more taxes if those mean ol’ Democrats take over!

Huizenga said Sunday no date has been set for selling up to 45 percent more of the team to Stephen Ross, but the presidential election is among the issues weighing on his decision.

That’s because a Barack Obama administration is expected to mean higher capital-gains taxes. “He wants to double the capital gains tax, or almost double it,” Huizenga said. “I’d rather give it to charity than to him.”

Yes, because everyone knows that the sitting America president KEEPS all the taxes we pay.  “I’d rather give my money away than see it go towards health care or public schools!”  Yeah, he’s quite the philanthropist.  He even donated money to a private prep school!  He’s basically like Mother Teresa… Mother Teresa was a vampire, right?

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