For Just $90,000 You Can Buy Wayne Rooney's Custom Motorcycle

England and Ukraine will face off against each other at 2:45 ET on ESPN today in a match to determine which of the two teams will advance from Group D at the Euro 2012 tournament. England seems to be the favored team, as Ukraine’s top player and captain Adriy Shevchenko is all banged up. I don’t know what happened to Shevchenko, so I’ll assume that he was attacked by some of the stray dogs that have overrun his country.

As for England’s hopes, a lot of the attention today will be focused on the return of Wayne Rooney, who was suspended for England’s first two Euro matches for what I believe soccer experts call “being a big ol’ doody head”. Regardless of how he plays today and all of the ridiculous things he’s said in the past about his own fans, it seems that people still love the guy, because they’re willing to drop more than $90,000 (so far) on his custom motorcycle.

According to the eBay listing (which has just 2 days remaining, so scrounge those pennies):

Designed by world-famous footballer Wayne Rooney and custom-made by Danish motorcycle manufacturer Lauge Jensen, this motorcycle is truly unique and one-of-a-kind.

The motorcycle has a raw and clean design with unique rims. Wayne Rooney has donated one of his player jerseys with his personal signature which has been mounted onto the petrol tank and lacquer sealed to preserve the jersey.

Wayne Rooney together with Lauge Jensen has designed a special shift rod with 21 black AA diamonds and one white TW/VS diamond.

“The Bike we have designed takes its inspiration from the celebration of my overhead kick against Manchester City last season. The goal has been described by others as being of the highest quality, technical excellence, powerful and beautiful. I hope you will agree that the bike is all of this and more”, Wayne Rooney tells.

Wayne Rooney’s picture of his victory goal against Manchester City is paint brushed on to the rear fender. The goal was voted as the best goal in Premier League 2012 season.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is it paint brushed or air brushed? This is important, because when it comes to my rides, I need the subtle class yet unparalleled elegance of airbrushing. For instance, check out the new van I just bought…