We Cheerleaders, We Play Joke…

04.08.10 8 years ago 5 Comments

…we go pee-pee in your coke.

At least two cheerleaders from Saginaw High School in Texas have received in-school suspensions after administrators learned of some urine-tastic shenanigans members of the squad pulled last winter at a basketball game. A cheerleader allegedly urinated into a cup and mixed it with a drink purchased at a nearby restaurant and then gave the Pee-Pee Cocktail to another teammate. When said teammate mentioned the drink tasted funny, she was informed that a tart candy had been mixed in with the beverage.

According to something called the Cheerleader’s Constitution (I imagine every “i” is dotted with a heart in the revered document), “team members could be removed if they are expelled, placed at the Alternative Discipline Center, assigned to in-school suspension more than once or suspended more than once.”

NO! Not the Alternative Discipline Center! How are perky cheerleaders ever going to fit in with all the burnouts wearing Black Sabbath t-shirts and smoking right off school property? In any event, you could say that the cheerleaders, in committing this heinous act, “broke the seal” of the Cheerleader’s Constitution, amirite?

A parent of the alleged victim is all up-in-arms regarding the incident and is asking that the perpetrators be kicked-off the team.

“They shouldn’t be allowed to represent Saginaw,” said the father, who did not want to be identified to protect his daughter’s identity.

“The girls said they were just joking around,” the father said. “It’s not a good joke to me.” -Fort Worth Star-Telegram (via Guyism).

I have to agree with angry father guy – it wasn’t a good joke at all – it was a phenomenal joke. This is the type of prank that will live in infamy. How will any Saginaw High School cheerleader ever top this stroke of mischievous brilliance? A bake sale poop prank, you say? That’s pretty good, but to me, in light of the Pee-Pee Cocktail prank, a bake sale-related fecal folly would still have to be number two on my list.

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