What to watch for in this weekend's biggest matchups. Home teams in ALL CAPS.
STEELERS over 49ers — Both teams are 2-0, but I smell an old-fashioned ass-kicking for San Fran.
BEING OLD over Freshman Year of College — Oh sure, you date girls with perkier tits, but I can go to football games hammered. Unlike you. Winner: actually, now that I think about it, you.
The AFC over COWBOYS-BEARS — Big Daddy Drew called it the Default Bowl in yesterday's Jamboroo, and I have to agree. It's a good thing 80 million people and half of all bloggers are Bears fans, because that team is fucking boring. There, I said it. Oooh, Devin Hester! He's good for fifteen exciting seconds every three hours!
GILBERT ARENAS over Brendan Haywood — Agent Steinz has the latest on the Black President's wordsmithing. PWN3D!
ComplimentBot 4000 over GENUINE SENTIMENT — "if the awesome factory had an explosion you would be the result" — Thanks, ComplimentBot!
Have fun this weekend, everybody. Don't do anything stupid, like getting married. I'll be back Monday; KD's got things under control 'til then. You've all been great; be sure to tip your editors.