Welcome To South Florida, Joakim Noah

Senior Writer
05.09.13 30 Comments

Well, friends. We’re not going to get a better image from the NBA Playoffs than this one, Tweeted by CBS Sports’ Matt Moore last night. Hell, if I were picking the best overall sports photo from 2013, this beauty would already have a giant blue ribbon slapped on it, as it dined for free at Red Lobster this evening.

It doesn’t need much of a recap, obviously, as the Miami Heat absolutely demolished the Chicago Bulls in Game 2 last night – as I and probably everyone outside of Chicago predicted – and Joakim Noah didn’t bottle his emotions very well. Noah was ejected in the 4th quarter after sharing some choice words with official Scott Foster after the refs missed a goaltending call, and as you can see he was greeted by this woman on his way to the locker room.

But there’s more to this woman and her husband – the Heat Bro and Babe, if you will – than just this image, as the video of Noah’s ejection reveals.

UPDATE: This is apparently the woman, according to the Sportress of Blogitude. Wow.

Fast forward to the :40 mark. Heat Babe sure is proud of herself for flipping Noah the bird, and she’s instantly a crowd hit, as the Heat bro behind her even issues the incredibly rare Arsenio Hall Dog Pound arm wave into the high-five. Long have I wondered whether or not we’d ever witness a crowd moment in Miami that would trump our beloved Heat Bros, and here we are today.

I grew up in South Florida and lived in the quiet, unassuming hamlet that is Coral Springs for a good 18 years. While I wasn’t routinely immersed in the culture, style and attitude of Miami and South Beach, I saw enough of it to feel confident in saying that this woman probably doesn’t even rank as the worst person in her own circle of friends.

You can tell by the body language in the photo that she certainly wears the pants, as her husband – and I say husband with confidence because women in Miami don’t date for wealth – looks like he’s only half as invested in the hatred for Noah as his wife is. And while this couple is certainly worthy of our mockery and scorn for their essence of douche, I still once again invoke my favorite Kids in the Hall sketch to justify why someone might behave in such a manner toward Noah.

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