07.22.08 10 years ago 10 Comments

Danica Patrick and Milka Duno had a bit of a run-in over the weekend and because they're two women being aggressive towards one another, all the sports blogs choose to depict it as a catfight. Just because they were hissing and arching their backs and making their hair stand on end to appear more intimidating to their enemy.

More august, professional sports media, such as Fox Sports, upholders of the mantle of series journalism that they are, asked readers in a poll to pick the weapon that the two racers would use in their next throwdown. Sure, almost all the options were stereotypically sexist, but which was sexiest?

62 percent of respondents choose Super Soakers, 19 percent picked pillows, 17 percent selected cars, while 2 percent went with towels.

The Death Race-inspired option is enticing, I'll admit, and one that David Cronenberg would appreciate. The watergun option, though seemingly sexy, proves ineffective once you realize they're both still in racing gear. Playful, but ultimaqtely unrevealing. Towels, however, come up puzzlingly short. The readers of Fox Sports have much to learn of the erotic possibilities of erotic asphyxiation using bathware.

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