Who’s More FAIL: Brandon Weeden’s Patriotic Debut Or The Bears Tailgate Stripper?

As I perused the sports news this morning, I noticed a few things. For starters, a bunch of running backs had awesome games, which sucks for a guy like me who wants to sell high on Kevin Smith and Alfred Morris. Second, Jon Hamm is still my favorite St. Louis Cardinals fan and he’s packing heat. Third, Rihanna apparently performed at the closing ceremony of the 2012 Paralympics in London and she got a massive tattoo under her boobies. Needless to say, a lot of stuff happened.

But my two favorite moments of NFL Sunday came as a result of someone else’s misfortune, and if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from my friends with kids, it’s that I love watching people fall down or be humiliated. In the case of Cleveland Browns quarterback Brandon Weeden, well, he probably wishes that he stayed in bed yesterday.

As you can see in the above GIF (via) and the video below, the rookie QB got off to a rough start during the pregame ceremony as Weeden was almost trampled by soldiers carrying the giant American flag across the field.

Things didn’t get much better for Weeden, as he completed just 12 of 35 passes for 118 yards with 4 interceptions. And if it weren’t for the Browns defense picking Michael Vick off 4 times, Weeden and Co. would have lost by a lot more than 1 point. But is Weeden’s failed escape from a giant flag really the most embarrassing moment of the NFL’s Week 1? Tough call, thanks to this Chicago Bears fan.

God, I love stripper pole fails. In fact, I would volunteer, free of charge, to host America’s Funniest Home Stripper Fails. I don’t think I’d ever get tired of saying things like, “Ouch, I hope her C-section scar is okay!”

So who failed worse, folks – Weeden or Synnamon on the main stage?