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Beware all ye who tread beyond this image.
There are some days that I look up at the sky and wonder if the world really is coming to an end, and today’s not just one of those days. I think it’s the day that we’ve finally received an answer. Susanne Eman, the World’s Fattest Woman, is getting married. And of course it’s to a chef, because her story just had to get dumber.
Last year, we introduced you to Eman, who hails from Phoenix and had the aspiration of doubling her weight from 800-pounds to 1,600-pounds or 4/5 of a f*cking ton. Sadly, we later learned that doctors stepped in and told her that if she continued this ridiculous quest, she’d die before she ever hit her goal. So she stopped, and it seemed like her fame did as well.
Guess again, skinny britches! Eman’s back and she’s finally found love in a colonoscopeless place, and she’s adding one more world record notch to her equator belt – the world’s largest wedding dress. Give me the quote of the year, Huffington Post!
“I like an off-whitish, not completely white. Because if I wear completely white, I guarantee I’m going to spill something on it,” Eman told Inside Edition.
Just how big is the world’s largest wedding dress? 45 FEET OF MATERIAL! Her waist is 9 feet! Responded a naked child in Africa, “That’s cool, I’m good.” Let’s just hope that Eman never discovers Kate Upton’s Fashion Bridal Lingerie collection. *shivers*
Eman has also decided that her health is meaningless, because she now wants to achieve the status of the fattest woman ever. That record currently belongs to Rosalie Bradford, who died in 2006. I assume from natural causes.
I know what you’re wondering: “Does this classic American love story come with fries pictures?” You bet your ass. Maybe keep that Kate Upton link open just in case.
As always, I prefer to celebrate such a wonderful love story while listening to the most romantic song ever written.
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Awhile ago some commenter made mention that he missed when this site was about sports and not wrestling. He was a fool because wrestling is awesome. However, I may have to side with him this one time. Not even Kate Upton can make me forget that I just saw a Food Holocaust.
And a while ago I replied that I have a childlike fascination with world records and non-sports events of competitive nature, because at their very core, sports are competition.
I understand completely, it’s just that my eyes filed a lawsuit against my brain for making them see the last few pictures and I need to raise money for the legal fees.
Is it me or does each of her legs have it’s very own ass?
This pictures makes me hope the Mayans are right.
I refuse to look at the slide show. With that said, I just wanted to say that that pic of Kate Upton is amazing.
My goal is for Kate to one day Google herself and wonder why the hell her image keeps coming up with “World’s Fattest Woman”.
Maybe she will believe it. Nothing better than a hot girl with low self esteem.
I also enjoy the extra irony in that there are certain people in this world that think Kate Upton is fat. Clearly, they have no idea what they are talking about.
Looking forward to the eventual wedding special on TLC or Bravo.
Or channel 4, I can’t wait to see them attempt to look sympathetic towards her.
How can you judge if you are a good chef if the main person you feed will eat anything?
“This is delicious, I want more!”
‘Honey, you’re eating a Goodyear tire.’
That’s a huge bitch!
i thought kate upton got married when i saw the picture and headlines, my mind immediately jumped to sarcasm. than i almost had a heart attack
I don’t think I will eat at all today. I am just speechless.
The greatest story every vomited.
Show me a guy marrying a 600lb woman and I’ll show you a guy marrying someone so that there’s no chance he’ll have to have sex with a woman.
A better/funnier way of putting that would have been: “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen a 600 lb beard”.
Their wedding registry simply states: “Bag of flour”.
This guy should be deemed a predator much like other misdemeanors, he is displaying a sadistic personality trait by engaging with his so called partner’s food fetish and gaining some kind of perverse pleasure from it, in-short he is an accomplice to slow suicide and should be up in court for such the sick bastard.