With Leather’s Watch This: Stephen A. Smith Is Shouting For McDonald’s Now

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

*deep breath*

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

*throws brick through TV*

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

I always thought it would be for Cheetos.

I’ve always thought the perfect SNL sketch for Jay Pharoah’s Stephen A. Smith impression would be to have him “debating” with a series of guests and each of them ends up committing suicide off screen in a different way. Sort of like in Airplane! when Ted is telling random passengers his depressing story. It’s not the best sketch idea, but it’s better than Jay not being on the show at all.

NHL Playoffs

Game 4: Bruins at Rangers – 7 PM ET on CNBC

Game 4: Blackhawks at Red Wings – 8 PM ET on NBC Sports

Game 5: Sharks at Kings – 10:30 PM ET on NBC Sports

As much as I crap on the NBA’s awful playoff scheduling, how the hell do we still have games on CNBC? Whatever, three games in one night is better than none.

NBA Playoffs

No games. Because it would be totally asinine to schedule the conference finals by having the games every other night so we don’t have any nights like this with no games. Instead of following up last night’s incredible overtime Game 1 in the Eastern Conference Finals with a hopefully equally exciting Western Conference Finals game, NOTHING.

I feel like I’m screaming into a black hole right now.

Soccer: Chelsea vs. Manchester City – 8 PM ET on ESPN 2

I don’t know much about soccer, but this game is being played at Busch Stadium in St. Louis, so it must be the classiest and most intelligent soccer game of the year. Also, I hope none of the players get shot.

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