With Leather’s Watch This: Alfred Morris Is ‘The Natural’

12.03.12 5 years ago 6 Comments

I watch all of my NFL games on Sunday with a group of friends at a bar that is owned by a huge Washington Redskins fan, so naturally there’s a small group of burgundy faithful who hang out there as well, and if I can keep blocking out the existence of Daniel Snyder, I can actually appreciate the team with them. It makes it exponentially easier, though, that I have Alfred Morris on my fantasy team and have grown to appreciate him as a player and a person in his rookie season.

So last week, I noticed that some Redskins fans on Twitter were trying to develop a good nickname for Morris, and the very boring and unoriginal “A-Mo” was picking up steam. No. People, please. We need to put an end to this horrible trend of first name, first letter hyphen abbreviated form of last name as a viable nickname already. It’s fine with A-Rod, because aside from A-Hole, there isn’t much else to call him. But A-Mo? Do you really want to give Philadelphia Eagles fans that easy of a chant? The alternative was “Monster” but that’s equally boring. Beast. Monster. Come on.

That’s why I was pleased to see that the inventers of Griffining over at The Burgundy Blog had come up with “The Natural” based on Morris’ patented home run swing touchdown celebration. I like it, a very plain and simple nickname for the guy with the plain and simple car and the ability to drag defenders 10 yards at a time. Good stuff.

Monday Night Football: New York Giants at Washington Redskins – 8:30 PM ET on ESPN

That said, Morris – Yo, I need 100 yards and a TD out of you tonight. You get that and maybe I send you a pretty sweet, partially used air freshener for that 1991 Mazda 626. Make that “Bentley” smell good.

WWE Monday Night Raw – 8 PM ET on USA

I just want to go on record as saying that I feel that “The Model” Rick Martel was robbed in our recent re-do of the 50 Most Beautiful People in the WWE list. I also thought it was rather indicative of this pro-human society that I was the only voter who included Frankie the Macaw on that list.

NBA: Milwaukee Bucks at New Orleans Hornets – 8 PM ET on NBA TV

8-7 at 4-11? Yeah, I’m gonna pass on this one.

NCAA Basketball: EMU at Syracuse – 7 PM ET on ESPNU

Someone offer me $1 million to name a single EMU player. I just want to say that I was given the opportunity to become a millionaire before I embarrassed myself.

MLB: Baseball Tonight Live at the Winter Meetings (Live) – Midnight ET on ESPN 2

I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER, NHL. I’M F*CKING BORED. In the meantime…

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