With Leather’s Watch This: At Least The Toronto Raptors Have Rachel McAdams

At 23-34, the Toronto Raptors aren’t having a great season, by any means, but they’re still only 4.5 games out of the 8th playoff spot in the mostly terrible NBA Eastern Conference. Despite the lingering possibility of playoff hopes, Raptors fans shouldn’t get too excited about basketball in late April, so they should just be happy that Rachel McAdams was on hand to watch the Raptors lose to the 18-37 Washington Wizards last night.

I don’t mean to be a dick to Toronto fans, though, but I think the NBA should imply new rules about the attractiveness of female celebrities at courtside. Like, the Raptors aren’t the worst team in the NBA, but they don’t deserve McAdams. Maybe Avril Lavigne.

Also, Selena Gomez can’t sit courtside for Lakers games until they’re at least in a playoff spot. Until then, the Lakers can only have Amanda Bynes. And Kirstie Alley will sit next to me at Magic games. I think I’m on to something here.

NCAA Basketball: Indiana at Minnesota – 7 PM ET on ESPN

NCAA Basketball: Memphis at Xavier – 7 PM ET on ESPN 2

NCAA Basketball: Florida at Tennessee – 9 PM ET on ESPN

Can we just start the tournament already, please? At least start the conference tourneys. I’m so bored right now.

NHL: Bruins at Islanders – 7:30 PM ET on NBC Sports

Can we just start the next NHL lockout already? Haha, just kidding, you guys. I’m thinking about doing NHL playoffs live discussions. That would be fun, maybe.

UFC: The Ultimate Fighter 17 – 9 PM ET on FX

Okay, so I’m really going to work on pitching my Team Palmer vs. Team Celeste idea to Dana White. I mean, not to toot my own horn, but it’s brilliant. They both coach teams of aspiring ring card girls while I host each episode and taunt them into fighting with each other, so at the end of each night I can be like, “Aw, there there, Brittney, it’s okay.” And she’ll think I’m awesome because I’m on TV and we’ll get married and buy an island once we sell all of her paintings.

Seriously, I’m going to have to explain to my girlfriend why I spent $1,000 on a painting of Brittney Palmer and Arianny Celeste.