Women Are Terrible At Motorcycles

This year’s X-Games added something called the “Moto X Enduro Women’s Division”, and on paper it sounds pretty cool. Women’s motocross could be awesome, right? Like when female skiers take off their helmets and they look like a hot, athletic Peppermint Patty with a labret piercing. Well, uh, the actual Moto X Enduro Whatever didn’t happen on paper, it happened on a big hill, and then on some rocks, and then down the side of a different hill. For some reason these women appeared to have NO F**KING CLUE what they were supposed to do and just crashed motorcycles everywhere. These are the highlights. The highlights. I don’t even know what they’re doing at some points. Why are you driving on those rocks?

Spencer Hall over at SB Nation has two workable theories, and I can’t come up with anything that sounds better.

The first is that the executives at ESPN are sexist 4chan commenters in disguise, and paid a group of retired ladies to don motorcycle helmets and bumble through this course while watching on the internet and laughing until they died. The other is that every woman here was required to get blind drunk before starting, and then do her best.

Here’s a link to the event set to Wacky Sax, in case the cold silence of humiliation wasn’t hilarious enough.