The 'World's Shortest Escalator' Is The Laziest Thing You'll See This Week

01.09.13 5 years ago 4 Comments

In only a week, YouTube user “hippykiller1” – a handle after my own heart – has amassed more than 5.1 million views on his video entitled, “The World’s Shortest Escalator”. But what on Earth could that incredibly confusing title mean? As it turns out, it means that Mr. Killer1 believes that he indeed found the world’s shortest escalator at the More’s department store in Kawasaki, Japan. As the narrator explains, this 32.8-inch exercise in laziness is apparently a “thing of beauty and magnificence”, but to me it sounds like something you’d find in a Central Florida Walmart.

Unfortunately for hippykiller1, though, his claim that these moving stairs hold the Guinness World Record for being the shortest is a bit unfounded. In fact, it’s completely unfounded, because it’s nowhere on the Guinness website. Shock and controversy in the world of meaningless data to begin 2013!

The video features allegedly the “World’s shortest escalator” in Kawasaki, Japan, located at a department store called “More’s.” The person who uploaded the video says that the escalator holds the official Guiness World Record for being the shortest at a vertical rise of only 32.8 inches (83 cms.)

Despite all the buzz, Enstars could not confirm that the escalator in fact holds the Guiness World Record. A search for the “shortest escalator” on the Guiness World Records website did not retrieve any information. (via Enstars)

Well, in fairness to More’s, I hope that the people from Enstars didn’t look up any “Guiness” records because those don’t exist. However, I checked the Guinness website and all I could find was the world’s first escalator. If More’s does indeed hold this world record, then the store’s owner needs to pay his Guinness membership dues or something.

In the meantime, I have decided that 2013 will be the year that I break or set a world record, and I will announce my intentions as soon as I have chosen my mark. I was going to set the world record for most times consecutively listening to Nelson’s “Love and Affection” but I was told I would finds myself single, homeless and unemployed. Back to the drawing board!

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