World’s Dumbest Thief Targeted A Law Enforcement Hockey Game

03.25.13 6 years ago 2 Comments

As a proud, tax-paying American who has never been arrested and occasionally makes donations to police associations (because someone once told me the sticker stops cops from pulling you over), I’m a big fan of law enforcement. I’ve always found that it’s good procedure to befriend police officers and not piss them off, because then they won’t frame you for murder. Not that all cops do that, but I constantly live in fear of being sent to prison, so I just try to be nice.

I wouldn’t, for example, ever think it was a smart idea to break into a locker room during a law enforcement charity hockey game and steal all of their stuff, because I’m not an a-hole with a death wish. Too bad I can’t say the same for one moron in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia

Two teams of deputy sheriffs and correctional officers were playing in a charity hockey game for the Make-A-Wish Foundation when someone broke into the deputy sheriff’s locker room and stole cell phones and a few wallets.

The theft was discovered by one of the off-duty officers during the second intermission.

“It was a pretty big downer for everybody,” said player Chris Kelly.

“Everybody was having a good time all the players, it was hard to finish the game in the mindset where some of your belongings are gone maybe your clothes.”

But the officers finished the game anyway. (Via CBC News)

Because every story deserves a happy ending, the thief was caught after the game and most of the stolen belongings were returned. I’m not sure how the Canadian justice system works, but I believe that the punishment for stealing from cops is to be drawn and quartered by mooses. Wait, is it meese? Just moose. Either way, I hope they celebrated in true Nova Scotia tradition.

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