09.09.07 11 years ago 4 Comments

A new world record for the 100-yard (If they have the metric system in Jamaica, then why do they sell a certain exported cash crop in ounces?) 100-meter dash was set today:

Asafa Powell bettered his own world record in the 100 meters Sunday, running 9.74 seconds at the Rieti Grand Prix. The Jamaican set the mark during one of the two heats to reach the 100 final. Powell, who has run 9.77 three times, finished third in the 100 last month at the track and field world championships in Osaka, Japan.
Thrilling.  But I've made it to the bathroom down the hallway at the Y with a chicken wing in my mouth and an Old Milwaukee in my hand and back before the football game resumed.  That has to be at least 30 meters, and I didn't get any 3-alarm Buffalo wing sauce on my nethers (Tip: Do NOT apply spicy condiments to your genitals.  This is sage advice even if your special lady wants you to try it.).  That has to be some kind of record.  Enjoy the return of Sunday NFL – I'll see you in 3 hours. -KD

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