Wrestling Fans Are In Need Of Pen Pals

The savvy gentlemen at Buzzfeed discovered an old magazine ad for a pen pal club for wrestling fans yesterday and it might be the most magnificent thing I’ve seen all month. Basically, people between the ages of 6 and 60 could register for this pen pal service – and presumably as sex offenders years later – and they could send each other letters about wrestling and their favorite stars and the guys they hate, and maybe some of the kids opened their envelopes to find strange pictures of a finger. Wait, that’s not a finger!
But I’m not here today to flame the wrasslin’ faithful, as even someone as handsome and poetic as myself once loved watching “The Model” Rick Martel. This collection of excerpts from the pen pal ad must be shared because it’s pretty much everything you could expect from an ad about wrestling pen pals. Except I’m upset that nobody listed the Bushwhackers as their favorite tag team. They’re clearly the greatest of all-time and I will not argue this.
Anywho, check out the unintentional perv nature of this service and then call your uncle Patrick and tell him you now know his dirty secret.

I have no witty one-liner to add to this because, well, just read it. “For wrestling fans everywhere from 6 to 60…” Because what we all want is our 6-year old child receiving strange letters from grown men regarding a fake sport that showcases men hugging each other in their underwear.

Fun fact: NAMBLA uses the same form.
I have never seen a comb over on an 11-year old. Until now.
Lisa is here to party. And Michael wants to watch.
$10 says Tod wore sleeveless shirts to high school.
That’s Mike Birbiglia on the right, right?
On a scale from 1 to Snoop Dogg, how high is Scott right now?
Hey Patrick, why don’t you come in here and take a seat?
You may know Jimmy better by his stage name, Evan Stone.
Cathy likes bad guys. Don’t they all?

How come Timothy is the only kid with his full name showing?

Mike just came to party, brah.

Tim terrifies me.