WWE Raw Open Discussion Thread 1/7/13: The Rock Is Back, Get Ready For Jokez

Pro Wrestling Editor
01.07.13 3,531 Comments

The Rock John Cena Garden Gnome

"John Cena? More like CHICKEN PARMESAN ASS SLUT!" etc.

Tonight, on the WWE Raw Open Discussion Thread, ROODY POO CANDY JOKES~!:

The first Raw of 2013 is going to be one wild ride, with no less a marquee match in place than a Tables, Ladders & Chairs WWE Title Match between Ryback and the incumbent, recently medically-cleared champion CM Punk. But while the WWE Universe salivates over the long-awaited contest, Dolph Ziggler has been stewing in anger over the past week after being embarrassed by John Cena in the waning minutes of 2012. With Ryback on the prowl for championship gold once again and Ziggler out for messy revenge against his own muscle-bound rival, what can the WWE Universe expect when Raw rolls into 2013. We have a few — five, actually — ideas. …

Oh, also, some guy called “The Rock” is coming back to Raw for the first time in six months. Maybe you’ve heard of him. (via WWE.com)

The With Leather five-point preview:

1. The Rock is back! You never know if it’ll be good Rock or bad Rock before he shows up, so we’ll go in not expecting the Cena/Rock KUNG PAO BITCH stammering shook version and maybe get cool, classic, guitar-playing Rock for our optimism. He could feud with Punk by just being cooler and funnier and better at wrestling than him, right? He doesn’t have to call him a gay fry cook non-stop until it’s trending. Also on the show: monkeys fly out of my butt.

2. We find out what the original plan for the TLC main-event was, before Punk got hurt and The Shield had a MOTY in the mid-card while John Cena had romance stories on top. It’d be pretty great if Ryback just won the title here, and Rock went “heh, sorry, I was planning to wrestle the skinny guy … brb, GI Joe reshoots.”

3. We get at least three replays of last week’s “John Cena dumps poopies on people” main-event segment, because me not watching it doesn’t mean I get to not see it.

4. Dolph Ziggler cashes in Money in the Bank tonight and wins the World Heavyweight Championship, because it’s the “first live Raw of 2013” and they are suckers for moments like that. Calling it right now. Also calling a tag titles change, because why not?

5. I will be asked to tune in to an all-new episode of ‘Suits,’ or whatever!

The 10 best comments from tonight’s WWE Raw open discussion thread will be featured in tomorrow’s Best And Worst Of WWE Raw report. To nominate a comment for top 10 consideration, please reply to it with a +1. Get your friends and all the wrestling fans you know to make an appearance here tonight, because our number of active users is dreadfully low.

And yes, the report will happen tomorrow. I’ll explain it more in the pre-show notes tomorrow, but the combination of two pre-taped shows + two consecutive holidays + my dad having heart failure on New Year’s Day kept me away from the report. Things are back to normal now, and watching the Rock will be my punishment.

Enjoy the show, everybody.

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