Yankees Fans Are Hardened Criminals

Senior Writer
09.17.10 6 Comments

In perhaps the greatest crime discovery in the history of modern justice, the New York Times has reviewed the New York City Police Department’s news releases, surveillance videos, suspect sketches and other media reporters to discover that criminals in the Big Apple support the New York Yankees. Over the past decade, more than 100 criminals have been arrested while wearing some sort of Yankee garb. In New York City, no other sports team was worn more than the Yankees. Truly a shocking revelation.

While the report points out that the Yankees hold more than a quarter of the market share for Major League Baseball merchandise, nobody can quite figure out why criminals in New York choose to wear a Yankees hat more than the Mets, who only had 12 criminal fans in the last 10 years. Well, while they try to figure it out, I’m gonna go pick up 13 different Yankees fashion caps from Champs.

There has to be a reason for this strange phenomenon, though, New York Times:

In some ways, it is not surprising that Yankees attire is worn by both those who abide by the law and those who break it. The Yankees are one of the most famous franchises in sports, and their merchandise is widely available and hugely popular.

But Yankees caps and clothing have dominated the crime blotter for so long, in so many parts of the city and in so many types of offenses, that it defies an easy explanation. Criminologists, sports marketing analysts, consumer psychologists and Yankees fans have developed their own theories, with some attributing the trend to the popularity of the caps among gangsta rappers and others wondering whether criminals are identifying with the team’s aura of money, power and success.

A-HA! It’s rap music’s fault. Damn you, Snow and Skee Lo. Hmmm, perhaps it’s time that I upgrade my hip hop collection. But whether the cause be Jay-Z or basic supply and demand, if you’re a cranky, old white Yankees fan, you have to be upset about this trend. How dare these people help create the largest revenue stream in professional sports by likening the idea of being a Yankees fan to coolness?

Meanwhile, nobody has ever been arrested in a Kansas City Royals hat because nobody owns one.

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