01.19.07 11 years ago 5 Comments

I'm not going to lie to you: I fucking hate horses. "This is my horse. Isn't he beautiful? You should pet him. Just approach him slowly from the front, because he scares easily and he'll rear up if you startle him. Here, feed him a carrot. But don't let your hand get too near his mouth — he'll bite. Oh, and don't walk behind him — he kicks." What the fuck? You know what's a good animal? A fucking golden retriever. Much cuter and not responsible for crippling Superman.

Another thing: you ever meet a woman who liked horses a little too much? I don't mean like this — just acted like riding horses was the fucking greatest thing in the world? It's like they never developed emotionally past the age of 7. All women are supposed to go through three "P's" to obsess over in their lives: ponies, photography, and phalluses. And they're not supposed to overlap.

(Seen on theYNC)

Around The Web