You Been Cut: Recapping Chad Ochocinco’s ‘Ultimate Catch’

Senior Writer
07.19.10 4 Comments

Chad Ochocinco’s new reality series The Ultimate Catch (GET IT?!?!) debuted on VH1 last Sunday and I missed the first episode. But thanks to the overwhelming encouragement of my friends and a very generous Internet, I caught up on episode 1 last night before watching episode 2. As a precursor, I hate reality TV with a passion. But bless Chad’s heart, because this show is phenomenal. In fact, it’s so awesomely awful that we’re going to devote a post every Monday to recap each episode until Chad ultimately finds love*.

To catch us up, here are the basics of the show: Ochocinco has created a tournament bracket for girls to compete in a variety of football-themed, humiliating events in order to win his affection. These events include the Hugging Sled (see after the jump), a simulated gameday tailgate featuring actual Cincinnati Bengals fans, and lots of jiggling. Terrell Owens even stopped by to show us that he has absolutely nothing else going on in his life. But the stakes were raised for the 16 girls who made it past the first episode’s cuts, and for the second episode they had to compete against each other in double dates to advance to the next round. Thank God Chad didn’t employ his own version of the BCS.

The Sled Hug should be called the Father Shamer.

Last night’s episode’s dominant matchup featured the juggerific Ericka defeating the hootertastic Emma, and some other girl beat another girl in events that don’t really matter, because the real winner of last night’s episode was the white bikini. The girls all hit the pool for a game of volleyball and it was a defining moment for TV.

Get the Emmys ready.

The show is basically a collision course of the girls from Flavor of Love and Rock of Love, as far as quality is concerned. But as Emma and Angela were eliminated, my early favorite is Ericka (above left) because of you know why. For full cast bios and show clips, visit here.

*Spoiler alert: He’s been romantically linked to his Dancing with the Stars partner Cheryl Burke, but one contestant has taken the time to get something that is supposed to resemble an answer out of Ochocinco.

(Photos courtesy of

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