Hey, Smalls, You Wanna S’more? Some More Of What? S’more Jail Time.

Back in July, we included the classic “lose valuable memorabilia and fear being attacked by a dog” classic The Sandlot in our ongoing 73 Sports Movies In 73 Days feature. One of the major talking points (besides how steaming hot Wendy Peffercorn was/is) is how we spent most of the movie wishing we could headbutt that L7 weenie Smalls in the face.

In a related story, The Sandlot’s Scotty Smalls, Tom Guiry, was arrested over the weekend at Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston when a United Airlines employee decided Guiry was too drunk to fly, and Smalls went all “king of crash,” headbutting a cop and trying to kick everybody.

Yeah, “you’re killin’ me, Smalls” would’ve been the snappier headline, but everyone else is gonna use that, so I’m using Sandlot quote deepcuts.

“The story is crazy. We’re told Guiry was at Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston over the weekend when a United Airlines employee concluded he was too drunk to fly… Law enforcement sources tell us, the employee contacted an airport cop, who approached Guiry and gave him two options: a public intoxication arrest, or the drunk tank.”

It was then, TMZ claims, Guiry scuffled with the cop and headbutted an officer before he was arrested.

The Sandlot’s Smalls was then reportedly booked and charged with felony assault on a cop, and posted $5,000 bail. (iva The Inquisitor)

Here’s his mugshot, which sadly does not feature a giant hat.

You’re killin’ me, Adult Smalls.

While the cop originally forgave Guiry, he was later stated as saying, “I take it back. You’re not in trouble, you’re dead where you stand.”