Zack Follett Blames His Matthew Stafford Comments On… Satan? What?

You may or may not have heard about Detroit Lions linebacker Zack Follett calling quarterback Matthew Stafford a “china doll” on a radio show earlier this week. Follett is now trying to correct himself for what he said, and he’s going about it in the weirdest f-cking way possible- by putting the blame on Satan.

He used Vimeo to make a response to his comments, and it’s very worth watching as he stumbles through a bunch of stuff about Christianity and how Lucifer hates Matthew Stafford’s tinfoil shoulder so much. The video is after the jump.

Follett goes on to say it’s an example of the battle between good and evil. Satan, failing to get him to succumb to lust, tempted him to lash back at his critics.

“I’m like, ‘Satan, that’s all you got? That’s all you got, bro?’ ” Follett says. –Detroit Free Press.

If I can put on my Literal Glasses for a second, calling Satan a “bro” is probably the worst way possible to show that you’re a fervent Christian. You are literally (do I get points for using it correctly?) calling him your brother, and I’m no religion expert, but that’s not what you’re supposed to do. Although, it would be pretty hilarious to see Lucifer in a polo and Nautica hat rejecting people from his frat’s party for not having a good chick-to-dude ratio. Satan needs his supply of coed vag.

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