McDonald’s Might Soon Spoil Your Children With Toys On Demand Cranked Out By 3D Printers

Working at McDonald’s might be getting a little harder as the fast food giant debates installing 3D printers in restaurants in an effort to create Happy Meal toys on demand for disappointed children and their disappointed parents.

What does this mean? Well, aside from another machine that will break down on a daily basis, it signals the death of childhood and the disappointment that travels along with it. No more will some kid have to make due with the worthless junk he already has two copies of in the back seat of the car. Instead, the little runt or runtette will be able to ask an employee to create them another toy from scratch using the 3D technology.

And I’m sure none of it is going to end up in anybody’s food.

Business Insider reports that McDonald’s IT director, Mark Fabes is kicking around the idea of installing the 3D printers at several locations in an effort to promote customer service and satiate children who missed out on their favorite toys or received a toy they were not satisfied with.

“Countless families have had their enjoyment of a nutritious McD’s ruined because they turned up the week that the starring character in that season’s kiddie-sized blockbuster had been replaced by an earnest but boring supporting character as the toy of choice.”

I’m sure that’s the reason families had their McDonald’s visit ruined, not the stench of death emanating from the bathrooms.

Allow me a moment to take out my corn cob pipe and strike up a one sided conversation. I think it’s a bad idea in the long run. Part of life is the disappointment that you don’t always get what you want and that sometimes you don’t get the McDonald’s toy you thought you were going to get. You lived and learned.

But with this idea, kids and their wobbly kneed parents can give underpaid and overworked people grief because of a small piece of plastic. It isn’t bad enough you have to put up with seniors stealing anything that isn’t tied down at McDonald’s, but now you have to go and learn how to manufacture a toy in the back while checking the friers and straightening the out of order sign on the ice cream machine. It’s uncalled for, dammit!

3D printing technology has come to the forefront as a possible security risk and is advancing at an alarming rate. At the same time it has also made some incredible things possible such as a father creating a prosthetic hand for his son or doctors creating a foot so a duck can walk again.  I don’t know that curtailing to the demands of children is a proper use, but we’ll have to see if McDonald’s goes forward with the idea.

If they do, I look for a prime Time Magazine cover story we can all talk about in a few months.